Thursday, January 12, 2017


She was the only girl in the room sporting a long ponytail, cargo shorts and a hoodie, and quite obviously the only lesbian. She'd briefly held out hope that the cute girl with a short haircut and glasses might be a lesbian or at least bi, but by the time they'd picked which board games to play, Glasses had already mentioned her boyfriend.

Somerville Board Gamers had seemed like a great place to meet women. It was Somerville, for chrissakes. And board games! But with few exceptions the other attendees were hippie-ish or overly geeky middle-aged men.

Ah well, I can still enjoy board games. I came for the board games, not for women. I didn't just come here for an excuse to maybe meet a woman.

It seemed that at least once a day someone repeated the "You only find 'em when you're not looking" line, so she wasn't looking.

Still, it would be nice if some of these people weren't social retards. Am I one of these people? Do I belong with them? After all, I, just like them, chose to come to this Meetup.

But then she remembered that she'd had plenty of cooler friends in her life, had had sex! with cooler people, and therefore could rest assured she wasn't actually this low on the social totem pole. She just had to choose a different Meetup next time.

Actually, I wonder if that table behind me is a Meetup. At least a couple of those girls are lesbians. Ah, this is Somerville after all.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Funniest Person in Austin Contest

Vote for me for this comedy contest by Liking this video on Facebook!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Food Blogging is a Mental Disorder

I've finally progressed in my journey to sanity to the point of quitting this stupidity. Maybe for you it's not stupid (I doubt it, but that's your call), but for me it definitely was.

Instead, here's a little clip of one of my earliest stand up performances:

See more at my Autistic Integrity website.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Dai Due

Tomato salad with crickets - It was a delicious salad, but honestly, the bites without crickets were better. My brain isn't terribly afraid of the bug thing, but it does tense up ever so slightly. Also, their texture is just the tiniest bit chewy. Super good for you though. The wave of the future, perhaps.
Anyway, I finally went to Dai Due because in April they were doing crawfish boil Wednesdays. There were crawfish, crab claws, huge shrimp, carrots, artichokes, potatoes, asparagus, sausage, garlic bread, chile drawn butter, carrot top sauce and some other aioli or what have you that was delicious. My favorite part was actually the sausage, and I'm historically not a huge sausage fan.

We also tried the grilled sourdough pecan bread with whipped cane sugar lard: so so good. This place is the shit. I can't wait to eat everything there and buy their meat. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive to eat here, but it can be. Come for Ladies' night $10 steak Tuesdays and/or just do a few appetizers.

Pretzel Stout Beer!

Dai Due on Urbanspoon

Friday, February 20, 2015

Cherrywood Coffee - Free Yoga Every Morning!

There's free yoga at 8am every morning, as well as stuff like this advertised on the bulletin.

Banh Mi: Yes! The flavors!  The French baguette for it was actually done well! How is it that this coffee shop with free yoga and a comedy open mic and tons of outdoor live music has, among lots of other things, an excellent version of a banh mi!? I couldn't have come back to Texas quickly enough!Chips and salsa: The salsa at this mother effing coffee shop is better than almost all the Mexican restaurants in Boston.

Try the peanut butter cup for dessert. It's actually vegan, supposedly. It's so good I think they're lying about that.

Enjoy some espresso ($2.25) on the patio outside, though actually it was a little bitter.

They also have a great local beer selection on tap!

Yoga, Coffee, Food, (Restroom,) Beer, Peanut Butter Cup, Repeat!

Cherrywood Coffeehouse on Urbanspoon

Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Pharmacy Burger Parlor & Beer Garden

The Pharmacy can cure many of your ails, as they have natural (cane sugar) phosphate sodas, a great list of local and other fun beers.

We tried a strawberry ginger ale ($3.50), and it was so good.

Stroganoff Burger ($8.50) with mushroom stroganoff bechamel, sour cream, caramelized onion, swiss cheese: Sooooo good. All the creamy wonder and meat on a soft, pillowy bun. Those buns. Oh my.
Cold pasta salad: Great

The Pharmacy burger less the mustard plus mayo: Yum! Those buns, so soft... Oh my.
Tater tots: Good stuff
Side of garden aioli: Basil aioli, yum!

I want to eat all of the food from here every day. Hrmph.

The Pharmacy Burger Parlor & Beer Garden on Urbanspoon

Friday, February 6, 2015

Philco Bar + Diner

Philco is on my list of restaurants that make me think I'd like to live in a city for a while.
Nutella Grilled Cheese with today's Jam, Havarti and Ohio Cheddar ($4! Now that's a reasonable price!): The cheese was a bit overwhelmed. It's a fun sandwich, though you could make it at home and maybe make it better. Plus, then you could so be high while eating it.

The Breakfast Biscuit, with a chorizo patty, chevre, shallot preserves and a fried egg ($6): This was one of those dishes that made me wish I had ordered what my date ordered. I want to go back to Columbus just to ear several more of these. Every element of it was excellent. Making ground chorizo into a patty was genius. The chevre melts into a sort of cream sauce. The biscuit was wonderful. The egg fried perfectly. Damn. 

The Johnnycake Sliders with Blackstrap Pulled Pork and smoky Napa slaw ($9): These were good, but they were a little dry and needed a little salt, pepper and Sriracha. I was jealous, as I said, of the Breakfast Biscuit. 

Look at all these cute local beers!
They have Sriracha and Valentino sauce. They have happy hour specials, a daily soup and pies.

Philco Bar + Diner on Urbanspoon

Side note: At a gas station nearby, I saw these! If they hadn't all been expired, I definitely would've been excited to try at least the Biscuits and Gravy. Tater Salad potato chips... it's genius, really. If Larry the Cable Guy gets to have a line of potato chips, I'm definitely going to be a comedian with a line of something. Maybe some kind of fat kid ice cream line.