Sunday, September 18, 2011

Max Brenner Chocolates by the Bald Man (in Union Square in NYC and Back Bay in Boston)

When my mother came to visit me in NYC for an epic three day walking and eating binge (well I threw a few museum and sights in the mix too), one of the place I forced her to try out with me was Max Brenner: Chocolates by the Bald Man in Union Square.  A few different customers at work had asked if I'd "done" Max Brenner yet, making it sound like an important foodie adventure I needed to go on.  I looked up their menus and saw that there was some good ridiculousness on them, and so I put it on the agenda.

We needed to start with something savory, but their food food options are pretty boring (as in, just go to Chili's and then come here for dessert, and you'll have the same experience for $2 less).

Waffle Fries dusted with Chili & Cocoa Powder - with Dark Chocolate Ranch Dressing - $5.95
That ranch is listed to be served with the Black and Tan Battered Vidalia Onions Rings, but I wanted to try it, so I ordered it for my chocolatey waffle fries.

That pinkish color made the chocolate ranch seem promising.
Despite the fact that both the waffle fries and ranch were supposed to contain chocolate, neither my mother nor I could detect much if any chocolate flavor.  That was disappointing, to say the least, such a pink sauce failure.    They were good fries and ranch, but wen you're paying six bucks for a modestly sized serving of fries from the bald chocolate dude, you expect something more.


Peanut Butter Chunky Chocolate Crepe - a thin french crepe stuffed with melted chocolate chunks and peanut butter. served with dulce de leche ice cream, toffee bananas, warm toffee caramel and candied hazelnut crunchy bits -$12.50
I mean, it all tasted good, way more sweet than I really care for (my mother chose this dish).

My take away is that this place is strictly for hyper-indulgent desserts and/or dessert drinks.

What I would order if I were to go again, which I think about frequently as I pass the new Boston location on Boylston St. every day as I come to and from work:

Okay one food item, just because it's listed as "Food on a Stick" and then:
  • Chicken, Bacon & Cheddar Rolls maple glaze & buttermilk ind 7.25 12.95
Then dessert:
  • Warm Chocolate Soup your choice of dark milk or white chocolate truffle soup served with crunchy chocolate wafer balls, strawberries, blueberries and mini marshmallows 10.25

Drinks:
  • Dark Chocolat - Cocoa Origin: Venezuela made from criollo cocoa beans with a distinctive aromatic flavor 4.95
Yeah, actually that's really it.  The place is a ridiculously overpriced, not really all that interesting when you get down to it, tourist bull shit type of establishment.  Chocolate bagels?  Yeah, duh, I did that about a billion times as a fat kid.  I don't need to pay $6 for it to be served to me at a restaurant.  That doesn't somehow make it more respectable - it just makes it more pathetic.

This is also not a restaurant that will do well if this English company's awesome receipt idea takes off, which I for one hope it does.  We could all use a little reality check when it comes to how much we're really pounding down in our dining out adventures.

Max Brenner on Urbanspoon

Max Brenner on Urbanspoon