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Showing posts from May, 2012

Indulgent Delivery Food in JP: Real Deal Del

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Burger Rating: 6/10 - Delicious, particularly after you've run 13.1 miles, but not the best ingredients or highest quality of meat.

Seasoned Curly Fry rating: 8/10

After running Boston's Run to Remember Half Marathon, I had to go home to clean my apartment since I was showing it to three potential roommates, before going to work from four to midnight.  I desperately wanted my post-race burger, but I didn't have much time.  Thus, I found the best option in JP (out of the three possibilities) for a delivery burger. I used their online ordering system and chose the Wolf Man burger.

I ordered this food thinking it wouldn't get to me until after the first chick. I went downstairs to let her in, and she was still about a hundred feet away. I could tell who she was because she brought her adorable dog with her. As she approached, I thought, "Oh fuck. She's, like, a hot girl. As in a normal, cool person, skinny hot girl who was clearly cool and socially confident in …

Kickass Cupcakes: Boston: Food Truck

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Cupcake Rating: 5/10

I decided to finally try the Kickass Cupcake truck that often haunts the food truck spot near the Boston Public Library.  I didn't have any cash on me, but they accept Level Up*, which gets you a $3 credit to start.  This meant I got to try a cupcake for free since they cost $3 each!



The cake was too airy and pointless, and the creamy too sweet (which is my usual complaint cupcakes, though some have done better.  I'm just not a sugar whore like so many of you).



I plan to try at least one more. I saw they had a chocolate gluten free cupcake, and I want to see how that is. Of course, since I didn't even like their glutinous cake, I have a suspicion I'm not going to care for the restricted one much. You never know though!





*Level Up is a free app for your smartphone that you hook up to a credit card to pay for things on the go without having to have cash or card on you. If you click this link to sign up (and start getting a few dollars of credit at alm…

Reliable Fast Food Boston Burger Chain: UBurger

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Burger a mini Burger chain called UBurger in Beacon Hill, Fenway, and on the BU and Northeastern campuses.


Oh what a soft morsel of a burger bun, like a down pillow! The meat and toppings all blend together in a mush of greasy, hot, creamy, dead animal deliciousness (though the guacamole would be more accurately described as yesterday's bucket of smushed avocados, so I'd stick with non-gauced burgers if you have any guacamole standards).

I'm not even sure whether it was the jalapeños or the chipotle sauce that was packing heat in this bad boy (maybe their powers were combining), but it was nice and hot. If you're a little New Englander wimp, you might wanna go with the Grand Slam Burger - $5.75 - with bacon, grilled onions & mushrooms, house spread, cheddar cheese (or one of their many other options, including build-your-owns).

Burger Rating: 7/10

Goody Glover's: Boston: The North End

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For their trivia night, some beers and some food, I met up with some friends at Goody Glover's on Wednesday night.







The egg rolls awesome, fried dough around corned beef, swiss 'n' cabbage!  With a creamy, grainy mustard sauce!  Ah how I've missed getting food that is actually satisfying on this gut level instead of always seeking out the weirdest, foodie-est foods.  It was still plenty foodie-ish to me though because it's totally Irish-Asian fusion, carb-swapping at its best!
Also, trivia (Wednesday nights at 8 PM) was fun, the beer menu is okay, and our waitress was so friendly we could've been in North Carolina.


Boston Common Coffee Co.: Boston: The North End

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Espresso Rating: 8/10

At Boston Common Coffee Co. a double espresso is $1.93 except I paid only $.93 because I used my $1 Level Up credit!




The espresso was bitter, but in a good, rich way, or maybe that's just because I was in a good mood after finally taking an unnecessary, just-in-case tampon out of my vagina, which I swear is the main cause of my period cramps, or maybe because I saw a cute lesbian there I know from somewhere, who seemed to be participating in some kind of book club, from which I heard the words "the western, literary notions of romance" or something.

Perhaps I should see if I can join this discussion group...  And their food menu ain't that shabby either!

Ruta Maya: Austin: Austin Airport

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Having already had Torchy's for breakfast but still wanting to try something at Austin's airport, I settled on coffee from Ruta Maya.





I ordered a double espresso, which was served to me in a 12 oz cup. There was a bit too much water, it was burnt, it was way bitter, and it was too oily. It was actually worse than Starbucks espresso.





Their website makes them seem committed to great coffee (plus values 'n' shit), so maybe it's just that the people who work at the airport couldn't give less of a crap about good coffee.



Espresso Rating: 2/10

Torchy's Tacos Trailer Park: Austin: South Congress

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The last time I stayed in Austin, I was at a girl's place that was across the street from Torchy's Tacos Trailer Park location.

I was still without Lactaid on this trip since I was trying to go without dairy for a month, so I studied the menu in a hungover daze for about an hour trying to decide what to do before finally deciding, "Fuck it," and buying a bottle so that I could have queso and tacos with creamy sauces.  It's still pretty hard to decide which tacos to get though.  They always have a special taco of the month too, always with a cute name (currently "The Libertarian" - a chicken-fried jalapeno sausage link, with grilled peppers and onions, grilled jalapenos, Green chile queso, and pico de gallo, topped with jack and cheddar cheese and served on a flour tortilla).

I didn't get to go on the Torchy's run, but I asked for lots of everything was the salsa bar.  Look how good my friends are to me:


Obviously the creamier ones (avocado, pobl…

Guero's Taco Bar: Austin: South Congress

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After an hour of miscommunications, faux pas, and a lack of Lactaid, my friends and I finally decided to have dinner at Guero's Taco Bar.

Selling points:
-self-serve salsa bar
-known to have a fairly high celebrity siting rate (It must be good is Matthew McConaughey and Bill Clinton like it, right?)

This was a perfectly fine margarita, though I wouldn't have minded paying a buck or two less for it.

Head to the salsa bar to pick up your heart's contentful of chips and salsa 'n' fixin's:


I wish there'd been a really good roasted salsa, but I could eat pico de gallo for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so I was happy enough to guzzle six trips' worth of that stuff down.





The food was yummy, a nice Tex-Mex place, and I love a salsa bar, but the appeal to the celebrities must be that the large size of this place allows for the possibility of some anonymity.  The food and salsas wouldn't be anybody's idea of the top tier Austin has to offer.

Uncle Billy's Brew & Cue: Austin: South Lamar

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Though it was the fourth of January, I was in fucking Austin, Texas, so it was a perfect 70 degree, sunny day, basically forcing my friends and me to get some beer and bbq somewhere with outdoor dining.  Our host chose Uncle Billy's Brewery, and we we walked up to it when we could smell the malt and the succulent meaty smells waft toward us.  These smells would continue to accompany us throughout our delightful meal.

Though if you do want to sit inside instead of at one of the perhaps twenty tables or benches outside, you can watch brewery operations through a glass window.








We learned that the moist brisket sandwich is not gluten-free, while the regular one is.   It wasn't actually as moist as you'd think, though it was delicious with some nice char to it.  Courtney's pulled pork was tastier though.

It wasn't very hot at all, but it was great ranch.  Sadly, I was out of Lactaid, so I asked our waitress if she could think of any other dipping sauce that might treat …

Arctic Zero: 150 Calorie Pints of Ice Cream

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Update: I no longer "diet" or count calories or eat shitty light foods. I highly recommend you quit that shit too. If you can afford it, order some Jeni's Ice cream and have half a cup every night as I now do. You can always get more exercise if you're so worried about calories.
Confession: I made this post in order to drum up traffic to my comedy clip.
I'm in the Funniest Person in Austin competition. I was the alternate in my round, so now whoever gets the most Likes on Youtube gets to go on to the semi-finals.
Follow these simple instructions, and you'll be my favorite person for the day: Step 1: Click on this link
Step 2: Watch it for at least a minute... THIS IS A VITAL STEP
Step 3: Like it (And actually, hopefully, you like it)
Step 4: Repost this post on your Facebook page Teamwork doesn't seem work!!!!!!!!


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I don't review products that often since it doesn't seem healthy, but I make exceptions for innovative and awesome foodstuffs.