Justin's Yuppie Snickers-ish Bar

I've been wondering lately if there was a good wholesome, more healthful version of a Snickers on the market. As with almost all things I wonder thusly about, the zeitgeist quickly delivers it to me via Whole Foods.

Justin's Nut Butter has made a bunch of products, including a Nutella-esque Chocolate Hazelut Butter as well as Chocolate Almond, Maple Almond, Honey Almond, Almond, Peanut, Honey Peanut, and Chocolate Peanut that come in 80 calories squeeze packets and god*-knows-how-many-calorie jars.  They also sell milk or dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

Recently they started selling the non-Snickers bars (in milk peanut, milk almond, and dark peanut. Where the fuck is my dark almond? Not to mention my maple almond? Give it a month).

Dark Chocolate Justin's All Natural brand snickers (if you'll allow me to synecdochize it since otherwise it's like copyright-problematic to call it a snickers bar (notice how I don't capitalize it when I use it this way), not that I work for either company anyway, so I'm sure I don't actually have to give a fuck, but still, I try to maintain some degree of professionalism).

So first off - delicious, no problems there. It tastes exactly like you want it to taste, or maybe even a tad better (if for no other reason than that your dorsolateral prefrontal cortex gives it a "and it's more wholesome!" flavor boost). Side by side comparison-wise:

              Dark Chocolate Snickers versus Justin's Dark Chocolate Peanut Candy Bar:
Calories:  250                                           260
Fat:         12g                                           14g
Sat. Fat:  5g                                             6g
Carbs:     31g                                            32g
Fiber:      2g                                              2g
Sugar:     24g                                            21g
Protein:   5g                                              5g

Huh, so... that's sort of disappointingly similar. Slightly less sugar but slightly more fat and total calories with a sadly saturated state of affairs.

The comfort can be taken in this distinction (I'm emboldening shit I don't care for in my foods):

Dark Chocolate Snickers Ingredients:

Semisweet Chocolate (Chocolate, Sugar, Milk Skim, Lactose, Cocoa Butter, Milk Fat, Soy Lecithin, Flavors Artificial), Peanuts, Corn Syrup, Sugar, Milk Fat, Milk Skim, Contains less than 1% of Partially Hydrogenated Soybeans Oil, Lactose, Salt, Egg Whites, Chocolate, Artificial Flavors

Dark Chocolate Justin's Bar:

Dark Chocolate (Cane Sugar, Chocolate Liquor, Cocoa Butter, Soy Lecithin, Vanilla), Caramel (Brown Rice Syrup, Cane Sugar, Sweetened Condensed Milk (Whole Milk, Sugar), Whey Powder, Palm Oil, Salt, Sunflower Lecithin, Natural Vanilla Flavor), Marshmallow Crème (Brown Rice Syrup, Sugar, Water, Egg Whites, Arabic Gum, Vanilla), Dry Roasted Peanuts, Justin's Classic Peanut Butter (Dry Roasted Peanuts, Organic Palm Fruit Oil), Peanut Flour, Organic Palm Fruit Oil, Sea Salt.

I paid $2 for it at my local Whole Foods, which I believe was a sale.  If I can find these for two bucks or less (preferably), I'll probably continue to buy them from time to time. But they're not better enough for you to be really life-changing.

*It ranges from 2380 to 2800 per jar, depending on the flavor.

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