Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Shakeology - A Tad Pyramidally Schematic

I tried some samples I was given of some some of Shakeology's protein shake mixtures, deciding to blend each one with Trader Joe's Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk (40 calories per cup of creamy deliciousness) and ice.

Chocolate (non-vegan) - tastes like chocolate pudding!

Being able to read this isn't important. The point is there's a long list of stuff that might make you feel happier, more energetic and smarter - who knows!



Greenberry - tasted like a Dr. Seus book, and not in a good way. But I don't know why anyone would ever buy greenberry instead of chocolate anyway. Skip that shit.




Each one has a somewhat different placebo profile.



Chocolate Vegan - tasted like earthy vegan chalk dust. 




Full Info. Dump



It reminded me of the time I ordered a bunch of kava kava powder off the internet to try to get the high that island people get from it. I got high off neither the kava kava nor the Chocolate Vegan protein shake. It would take the promise of a mind-expanding spiritual experience to make this taste worth it.




If you order these things from Shakeology, they cost $120 for either 30 servings worth in a bag  or 24 individual pouches, which comes to $4 of $5 per serving, respectively. It's actually $130 for the Chocolate Vegan crap. Plus, you'll still want to add at least some kind of milk, if not bananas, nut butters, etc. in order to mix it up and, in some cases, mask the taste. Hell no.

Conclusion: If you're rich enough to throw your money at expensive pre-made protein shakes that have a bunch of extra-stuff in it that is almost certainly all placebo, get the chocolate (non-vegan). But in reality, I think this product is a pointlessly expensive product that is only worth the while of those who are involved in the pyramid scheme multi-level marketing scheme.



If I were you, I'd order Elite Protein Powder (new chocolate peanut buter flavor!) in bulk on Amazon.com. Not only is this enormously cheaper, but you get your protein without the extra sugar and fat that Shakeology includes.