Tuesday, January 7, 2014

NYC Pizza: Searching for The Representative

My girlfriend loves pizza, but she is very picky. She was raised in Upstate NY and loves that style of pizza. I fell in love with pizza when I lived in New York City, so my style is thin and chewy to her thicker and chewy. On our recent trip to The City, I wanted to convert her to my way of thinking. We tried to pick places that worked with our routes and other destinations, so I looked on some top ten lists first for a place on our way in. 

First up was Louie and Ernie's and Grimaldi's. 



It seemed so fortunate that one of the highly lauded NYC pizza places was on our way from Boston to our hotel in Brooklyn. We dutifully ordered what this one effusive food blogger had praised: the sausage and onion (we were hoping for caramelized, but no dice) pizza (small). The crust was crisp and not chewy at all. The sausage did come in large delicious and fennely chunks, but other than that, the pizza was just a fine pizza, not something to seek out at all. We could've gotten a pizza like that in freakin' boston. Maybe instead of ordering a pizza I thought my girlfriend would like, I should've gotten the even more praised white pizza since I love white pizzas so much anyway. This is what I get when I just try to keep her happy: nobody wins. Lesson learned?
Here's the skinny in case you want to try it for yourself (get the white pizza!). You Order when you walk in, grab whatever drinks you want and then sit down in the back or go out to a wonderful patio beyond that, and they will bring you your food, ask if you need anything else, and then wrap up your leftovers for you if you desire (we planned to give the last 2/6 slices of our pizza to a homeless person). Then you go up to the front at pay at the end. Cash only. No delivery. Very simple pizza or calzone topping selection and cans and bottles of sodas and beers.


Louie & Ernie's on Urbanspoon


We were staying in DUMBO for this trip, so I decided it was finally time for me to try Grimaldi's. It was a 12 minute wait at 3:45 on a hot Sunday afternoon, but after we'd waited 7 minutes for our order to be taken, another 20 for it to arrive, and another 15 after we'd finished eating for the waiter to come and check on us so that we could pay, we decided the line is as long as it is (and I know it gets much longer than ours at busier times) because these people purposefully go slowly so that there is always a "legendary" line.

Because it's not the pizza. This pizza could have come from Bertucci's. I didn't enjoy any of it, and we wasted money on both a sausage and roasted red pepper regular pizza and a mushroom and caper white pizza.  

They were a waste of money and calories. If I were sane instead of compulsive and neurotic about food, I would've stopped eating it after two bites of each instead of eating through one of the red and two of the white. Now I'm fatter because of a meal I didn't enjoy.


It's this bull shit Italian institution crap. "Wait in this line, cash only and no slices." -abusive Italian voice. And there aren't any locks on the bathroom stalls.

Unable to find a homeless person, we threw away seven slices of it. 

The perfect horrible NYC day would be if you actually went and saw Times Square and the Empire State Building, and then waited in line for a Grimaldi's pizza.


Grimaldi's Pizzeria on Urbanspoon

The search will continue.